Maybe you can relate. You've grown up in a Christian home or been a believer for years. You go to church every Sunday, but by Monday, the sense of joy has faded. Something is missing—no matter what you do, read the bible, pray, or sing worship songs, that deeper sense of peace, joy, or closeness to God just is not there.
For years, this was my experience; I was doing all the "right" things yet still felt distant from God, especially throughout the week.
The reality was, that there was a significant difference between engaging in religious practices and building a personal, living relationship with God. In fact, spiritual growth only truly began with a rebirth in me—a transformation that went far beyond religion.
Defining “Religion” vs. Relationship with God
It’s easy to confuse the idea of “religion” with a true relationship with God, yet these are vastly different. “Religion” often refers to outward practices or traditions, like attending church, reciting prayers, or following moral rules. These actions aren’t inherently wrong, and in fact, are important and necessary. However, they become problematic when they are practiced without a genuine heart connection to God.
In essence, religion without relationship is about following rules and routines without fully relationally engaging with God. It’s a system of doing the right things to feel worthy, approved, or good enough in God’s eyes. But as Jesus said in Matthew 15:8-9, quoting from Isaiah 29:13
'These people honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’
God isn’t interested in empty rituals; He wants our hearts.
Recognising the Difference
Attending Church as a Duty: Going to church is valuable, but when it’s done solely out of obligation, it can feel like a task to check off rather than a time of worship and connection with God.
Reciting Prayers Without Reflection: Prayers, like the Lord’s Prayer, are powerful, but if they’re said without meaning or recognition of what is being prayed it can lose significance. They can become like empty words instead of heartfelt communication.
Following Moral Rules to “Earn” God’s Love: The Bible encourages us to live holy lives, but holiness is meant to flow from a love for God and a desire to honour Him. When we focus only on doing “good things” to earn approval, we miss the purpose of God’s grace and the joy of knowing Him.
In the Bible, even the most religious people sometimes missed the heart of God. Jesus addressed this with the Pharisees, who meticulously followed religious laws but neglected mercy, love, and justice (Matthew 23:23). Their faith was about appearances and rules rather than a genuine relationship with God.
Genuine Relationship
A genuine relationship with Jesus isn’t about receiving instructions or adhering to a list of rules. It’s a living, vital connection, like the one between a vine and its branches. Imagine a branch that’s attached to a healthy vine, drawing its nourishment, strength, and life from the vine itself. This branch is connected to something greater than itself, and its growth, fruitfulness, and resilience all flow directly from that source.
Jesus describes this connection in John 15:5, where He says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Just as the branch cannot grow or bear fruit without being connected to the vine, we cannot experience genuine spiritual growth or vitality apart from an active relationship with Jesus. The branch’s only role is to stay connected to the vine, trusting that the life-giving energy it needs will flow from the source.
But what happens if a branch disconnects from the vine? It withers, loses its strength, and eventually dies because it’s no longer able to draw the nourishment it needs to live. In the same way, if we disconnect from Jesus or reduce our faith to a set of routines, we risk becoming spiritually dry. We may go through the motions but lack the true life and joy that only comes from staying connected to Him.
Jesus offers us a vibrant, life-giving relationship.
When He says, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10), He’s inviting us to experience a full, thriving spiritual life that stems from knowing Him personally. Abundant life is not something we achieve by following rules or checking off spiritual “to-do” lists. Instead, it’s the natural result of a close, intimate connection with Jesus, our true source of strength and purpose.
When we focus on staying connected to Jesus as our source of life, we will naturally begin to grow and mature spiritually. Just as a branch cannot help but bear fruit when it’s connected to a healthy vine, our lives will begin to reflect His love, peace, and purpose as we draw closer to Him. This kind of growth comes not from striving but from abiding in the One who gives life.
Where Are You Now?
So, how can we know where we are in our faith? Here are some questions that might help:
Do I look forward to spending time with God, or do I feel like it’s just something I have to do?
When I pray, do I feel like I’m talking to a close friend, or does it feel formal and distant?
Do I seek God’s guidance in my daily life, or do I turn to Him only in emergencies?
When I read the Bible, am I trying to understand God’s heart, or see it as a book of rules restricting the life I want to live?
Do I believe God loves me as I am, or do I feel like I need to earn His acceptance?
When I help others, is it because I genuinely want to serve, or because I feel I “should” do it?
Am I thankful for who God is, or am I mostly focused on what I can get from Him?
The Invitation
If you have identified religious aspects in your life, no matter how close or distant you feel, there’s always room to move closer to God.
God is inviting you into something more fulfilling and personal. He desires closeness with you, not out of duty or obligation, but because He loves you deeply. Like any relationship, it takes intentional time and openness to grow in closeness with God, but every step you take towards Him is met with His abundant grace and joy.
Take a moment to reflect on where you are right now. Let God’s love shape your journey, transforming it from a checklist of religious practices into a joyful, life-giving relationship.
Remember, God isn’t waiting for you to get it all “right.” He’s simply inviting you to come as you are, ready to walk with you as you learn, grow, and live out your faith in a way that is deeply connected and real.
Step into this journey of relationship, and let it fill your heart with joy, purpose, and peace. You won't regret it.
God wants our heart. ❤️